The house ate me...

Seriously. What the hell. I got eaten by the playboy mansion.

One second I see a speck of light on the wall, I go to touch it and get sucked into some bright light and oblivion. Next thing I know I get dropped out of the livingroom ceiling. We don't know what happened, but Anakin and Obi-wan seem to think it might have something to do with the Jedi being mad at them for defecting.

Every time someone gets pulled from another time and dropped into ours, there's been some bright light... I'm scared the universe is going to steal me away from the time I know and the people I love. I don't want to live in any other time, I want to live NOW. With THESE people. It's.... scary.

Speaking of scary, the man-eating elephant is gone. Obes took him to some kind of zoo or something today. I feel bad because he really liked his elephant, but Carl REALLY scares me, and I KNOW he was plotting to kill me. Evil, beady little eyes...

Speaking of evil (or just mean) a certain person who WANTS to be a mean girl but doesn't quite understand... well... much of anything... has been stealing backgrounds. Have you seen these notes?

Yeah.... not happening. But hilarious. ;)

Bloggy.... thing.

I’m going to start this diary/blog/WHATEVER thing with a very important announcement.

FIVE FEET TALL IS NOT THAT TINY, OKAY??? I am not a halfling, or a gnome, or a midget, I stand at just over five feet and while I may be… somewhat… petite by stature, I am NOT by any means abnormally small.

And anyway, I could kick your ass, so don’t start with me.

Hokay, a bit about me. I am the co-owner of Sinful as Sith Caffa and Cakes, a fantastic caffa shop on Fourteenth Ave in the senatorial district of Coruscant. I am also hiring to take a little work off my awesome employee Alice before I kill her by overworking. So if you’re interested and you aren’t an ex-handmaiden, feel free to ask for an application.

I am NOT, as some psychos would lately have you believe, “a ho.” I AM in a polyamorous relationship with my soulmate (and I do not use the term lightly) Anakin, and my dear friend and love Obi-wan. That does not make ANY of us PROMISCUOUS, we simply find that a relationship shared between three brings us more happiness then a simple pairing. It has it’s complexities, but all in all we support and adore one another, and have more ups then downs.

You might notice my relationship features as the most prominent influence in my life; I make no apologies for it. I grew up very much alone, and now that I have my family, they are my life.

You may ALSO recognize the names. Yes, I mean Anakin as in the chosen one. NO I don’t want to talk about Padme. NO I will not get his autograph for you, and NO NO NO is our three-way relationship “open.” You cannot muscle your way in, don’t even try. If you give me shit over being Anakin’s “sexy little minx,” a name HE gave me by-the-by, OR if you go after Obi-wan, expect a couple of plastic action figures to slash your tires. Seriously, they are crazy.

(Speaking of, anyone know why the kark there’s a naked barbie sleeping in my sink next to a sample bottle of whiskey?)

Okay, so, that’s about it. If you have any questions you can ask me on http://www.formspring.me/Kitiyari but if you’re anonymous and an ass, I very well may feed you to Lady Everon’s cat.

I am SO not even joking.

~Kiti